what if fat = pretty?

i was thinking to myself.. as i was showering.
If God made all men equal.
why are there relative terms like.. more beautiful or more handsome..
these kind of words?
and.. i was thinking.. it would be unfair.. if only the pretty women were sought after.. the rest of the women would feel like crap.

but.. i've heard of the phrase, all women are beautiful.
I'm sure there are people who find fat women attractive.
or i'm sure there are people who find girls who have a bulge in their tummy attractive.. or they could be like.. pillows so that their boyfriends can sleep on them.
i'm sure there are people who find women too skinny revolting.and people who think otherwise.
and... there are people who simply think that women whom the press define as pretty simply aren't attractive to them. Leme give an example.. do u think Devon Aoiki is pretty?.. i duno.. take away the make up. she's a plane jane with a good figure.

so the question i'm raising is this.
is the media playing too big a role in defining for us what pretty is?.Or what perfect is? the perfect body. the perfect lips
the perfect abs.. the perfect package.

so..
what if. one day.. fat is pretty?
:) what if fat nose is pretty?
what if fat stomach is pretty?
what if everything we thought to be detestable became thought of as desirable?
anything is possible

something close to my heart.

i just thought i ought to share something about myself.
regarding the issue of pornography.

http://relit.org/porn_again_christian/toc.php

By some chance, i came across this website that dealt with the issues of pornography.
I think its a serious thing that affects guys of all ages. Though of course some women do watch pornography as well.

The above article spoke well into me.
i know how pornography affects me.
I'm not to sure what i should write and what i shouldn't.

Yet.. i felt really inclined to rethink this whole issue of pornography and how deeply it really affects us guys. It isn't something to laugh about. It has been a stone that has been stopping so many Christians from speaking out boldly against it. i doubt there is a single Christian man who has not watched porn in his life in this era. So we all know how shameful it is. How that short pleasure we gain from obtaining an orgasm through watching porn and masturbating at the same time.
No its not just me. No its not just that brother.

Its probably an issue God really wants to address to His men. A secret sin that eats from the within. our shame that hinders us from growing nearer to Him.
It startled me to consider that the act of masturbation is not very different from homosexuality. monosexuality. i duno.

This is one of the things i feel that is so close to my heart. the sin of pornography. i've struggled with it for more than half my life. and i'm just 23.
its probably something thought of as normal now.. but the more i think about it.. the more i wonder.. what exactly is normal about pornography? The herd mentality? Everyone is doing it.

How did something so obviously wrong become obviously right.

Pornography scratches just the surface of how serious the implications on our society is. Like a crack in a glass that weakens the entire structural rigidity of a window, is pornography that affects men from young to old. not one is spared. A crack in the conscience.

Pornography, an industry that supports prostitution.
Prostitution, an industry that supports human trafficking.
Human trafficking, an industry that ends up with young women who could be your sisters forcefully taken away, beaten up, and raped, degraded, ignored and abandoned.

whats with me you might ask.
i'm asking myself this too.
why do i write this?
because it has to be written.
Something just has to be said about this wound that has been allowed to fester and grow. we have something more disastrous than global warming happening right at our door step and we don't know it.. an eroision of our hearts.

Inner Scream

you wana let it out,
but you just don't know what.
you feel like you're gona expload for a moment,
and then u feel ok. like nothing's ever happened.
a comparison, followed by
a disappointment.

Whats worth brooding over?
What's worth competing for?
Envy leads men to build great things.
Everything is meaningless.

Everyone will die.

What we've been working to build up in our lives will be handed on to the next generation..
is number one everything?
there are so many people aiming for one spot.
Just one spot..
If life is like this.. then life is pointless.

Why is it when we are children we never care about such things?

my heart is stirred.
by something i do not comprehend.
I'm unbalanced for now..
wondering why i feel unbalanced in the first place..

I feel out of place so often.
somehow.. it just don't feel right.

perhaps now.. i just need to be alone.
hearing people commenting about how they need to be better in their school work.. need to study.. blabla.. somehow turns me off.. somehow makes me feel like running in the exact opposite direction..

somehow part of me always tries to runaway from whatever the crowd is doing. its been a while since i've had these kind of moments where i really pause and wonder.. what the heck am i now.. now.. i still don't know.. i do know though that i belong to Jesus. Its hard to admit it and just say it out loud sometimes. Sounds so cliche.. sounds so.. zealotish.. sounds so cheesy.. its weird.. why i should feel this way.. especially knowing when people who may not know God would read a post like this.

Its specially hard when we are alone.. among non-christian friends. THe word Jesus is a landmine.. you don't know if it would explode or not. There really is power in that name. Try explaining this.. Why Jesus above all names has been the object of ridicule and mockery for so many movies? Why don't people yell.. "Buddha!" when something bad happens? Why just "Jesus Christ"? Just that name causes so much controversy.
Why not a common name like... Edward.. or Matthew or.. some Chinese like Confucious? Or Muhammad or Gopal. It just has to be that name..

As in most of my posts i don't have any intention behind writing all these.. or maybe i subconsciously have some motives. its just been a while since i've had this urge to write .. and do a verbal diahorroeah.

My blog is for me.

And generally i write anything that comes into my mind.

when i see people discuss about.. how capitalism is not producing any of the sweet promises it claims. i wonder whats the point in that..
People already know how it works. A necessary evil maybe?.. if you cut down the weeds with the grain,, you lose the harvest. So.. jjust wait till harvest time.. the weeds will be weeded out.

All the talk.. about.. how this is wrong.. and that is wrong..
is that all necessary now? Yes, there is value when we need to bring justice to the evil, the wicked..
What really is necessary?..
is the important question..
a question that will determine our fate for eternity.
Better is one day in your courts, then a thousands elsewhere.

i'm thinking of doing something i've just thought of ..

it came to my mind while i was talking to marc on the way home from church today in Korea.
i was thinking about the power of verbalization.. the power of imprinting a deeper and clearer impression on yourself. a step to remembering things better.

quote of the day.. " sometimes,it isn't just the thought that counts, do it like you mean it" -anonymous-

lessons in life

things i learn the most aren't in books.
things i learn and enjoy learning most are from friends.
thing that i wana really learn.. is to use my 2 ears well