Feelings.

The emotions are running wild.
You don't know if they are your instincts trying to protect you or just something you shove at the back of your head.

I"M FEELING SO STRESSED OUT>well in korea i dont feel this way..
anyways.. YOU KNOW this feeling??..
when you think you've got something really important you need to do??
then a hundred million other worries just whiz past your head.. and sujddenly.. that important thing you needed to get done.. does not seem all that important.. and... you start worrying liKE CREAZY!!!

Thats how i'm feeling now.
gosh.. and i'm like saying to mjyself.. rich.. u need to do this and that and this and that.. and.. thing is.. i havn't done nothing..
i've just read my bible.
argh...
MY attention span seems so short..

also had this other feeling before?
you worried soOOOOOoOooOO much about something one day.. and the next.. you don't even think about it.
and you wonder.. whats wrong with me? was that thing i was worrying about even worth worrying about???
ok.. now i'm inspired to turn back o the bible.

if ican make it through tomorrow.. which is kind of a dooms day for me.. then.. good. yeah.. :)
sometimes i hate myself for being sooo slack.

well but i'm not actually slack. i procrastinate too much.. hmm...
i think thats the same with Eve too.
URGHHH!H!H!H!!

GOTA CLEAR MY CRAP!!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

*richard goes for head banging session*

ok.. i need to remove this .. think... part in my brain..
everytime i tell myself.. "i think i need to do this" i never really get down to doing it.
instead.. i have to start saying stuff like " i'll get this done by today by hook and by crook.. and it will be my excuse to focus less on everything else" or wait. that don't sound too nice.. like.. i'm gona put myself in a trance that makes me a robot instead of a human.. okokokok!??!?!?
so how???
KK.. how about does this mental note sound ? " once i accomplish this task.. i don't have to think about it anymore.. do it once do it good."

yeah sounds good.

if u asked me hows God in my life today?
i'd tell you .. not very good.
been letting some comments said get into me over the new year and my brains been kinda fuddled up.. having some momentary identity crisis. YOu know.. i suddenly had an epiphany. at the end of the day everyone needs to remember the image he has of himself.. and not the image that people have of him. and that image of ourselves usually is the image that God gives us. on my part.. i've been getting comments that i look like a korean ever since i went there. hmm.. i don't know.sometimes i get drawn into that train of thought.. and think myself different.. and special.. blabla.. but at the end of the day i'm still Richard Yew the Singaporean guy born to my mom who's peranakan and my dad who's a malaysian but became singaporean.i've got 3 awesome siblings. 2 lovely sisters and a wonderful bro. Have a lovely girlfriend who is always bubbly and energetic so much so that at times.. she's like a hyper active child.

well i think i needed that self reminder.. but for now..
ITS TIME TO WORKK AND WELLL GOD HELP! !!! :)